Euphemistically parenting

There are many euphemisms you hear about parenting - parenting's not for the faint-hearted, not for wusses, not for sissies.
People talk about being in for the long haul, some parents say all knowingly "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon, you have to pace yourself".
Once you enter the NICU everyone will tell you it's a roller coaster ride.
People, myself included, talk about being back on the medical merry go round.

So if we're going to run with the imagery - I think that if 'ordinary' parenting (I know there's no such thing!) is a marathon then what I'm doing with my boys has to be an ultra marathon.

Ultra marathons are a longer distance and have different activities within them, not just running. They are designed to stretch you to your limits and be grueling. Of course like any of those things you train for them and there are parts you find easy or even enjoyable, the bits you are best at.

The easier, more relaxed down hill slope was nicely epitomised for me this week when I had T at the GP for his fortnightly weigh in. He was having a great day, charming, clever, slightly cheeky, joking around with the GP but impressing at the same time. He choked on some water and the doctor's comment was "Oh that went down the wrong way didn't it!" T's response "Yes, it went down into my lungs instead of my oesophagus into my tummy. But it's okay now because I've coughed it back up so it can go down the right tube now." A moment later he was discussing the odds of various cars getting out of the 'traffic jam' he'd carefully created in a path across the room with the doctor.

Yes, we were still in the grueling ultra marathon - he was being weighed because of all his issues at the moment and had managed to lose 250g in two weeks despite the late nights, the day feeds, the tasty tit bits for him to eat, the carefully concocted purees. But he was in a great mood and buzzing round doing what kids should be doing.

Another gentle slope came the next day at the hairdresser where he was picking out the letters of his name from the lettering on the window and actually writing them on a bit of paper for them. I didn't know he knew so many letters as his learning has been very slow due to the health problems this year, but there he was identifying and writing letters and even unphased when some of the letters in his name weren't on the wall, he just added them in with a little help.

But then we hit another uphill battle, a steep incline, an event which shows perhaps you hadn't done all the training you should have.

T has croup - we're in the middle of summer here so a little unexpected but not impossible.
It hit hard and fast.
He was indrawing badly with every breath the first night, he was whitey/blue/grey around the nose and mouth and very scared.
And so I was thrown back into the 'hospital or not' mode - I checked his lips, fingertips - all still pink so oxygen levels weren't too bad, his resp rate was 19 - 22 breaths a min once I'd managed to calm him down so not in too much distress.
As P's away I decided to watch and monitor instead of taking all 3 kids to the ED in the night!
And so I was up until 2am, counting resp rate, checking colour, listening to the croupy stridor in and out on every breath and checking how many auxilary muscles he was using to breathe.

I took him to the GP the next day, yes second time in one week and yes, the same person who had joked around with him 2 days earlier. And we walked out with a kid on steroids. Last night wasn't as bad as the first night but I was still up until 1am with him working hard to breathe, reassuring and monitoring him.
Today he's still huffing and puffing, this afternoon I wonder if he's taken a turn for the worse - retching after his feed, dribbling rather than swallowing and sleeping only on my lap propped right up.

And so the ultra marathon continues.

On Tuesday we see the surgeon for T and N and we need to give him a bit of a hurry up on sorting things for N. His eating is virtually non-existent again and he even got to the point recently of retching, headaches and feeling terrible due to lack of eating. We will also get T's biopsy results. If they show nothing then no one knows what's causing the 'gloopies' or how to fix them.
If they do show EE then we have to start treating it - and more importantly figuring out what's triggering it, esp since all his skin prick tests came out negative!

Life with my kids is definitely an ultra marathon - and sometimes I get the stitch and wish it could all slow down or stop. But it's those gentle inclines, those days like T had before he got sick, which help to carry you on through the long hard hauls.